Social dynamics and aiming for certain feelings

Anonymous replied to me about the task of welcoming people to FI. 

For context, what I had said was:

you should care about any incompatibilities. you seem to be thinking that all welcoming is social dynamics. i don't see why that would be the case. i think some welcoming is just plain truth telling. just like some praise is truth telling.

Anonymous said #17914:

If you’re saying/doing something with the purpose of welcoming someone, you’re doing a social thing. The thing you’re saying might be objectively true. But there are lots of objectively true things you could say. If you’re picking that thing to say with the purpose of showing someone that there’s a comfortable place for them in the FI social world, you’re doing it for a social reality reason.

I’m not sure if you mean the same thing by “social dynamics” that I do by “social reality”. I'm also not sure if I mean the same thing by "social reality" that anyone else does. If not, that's something I might like to discuss more.

Who introduced the idea that the purpose of welcoming people is for "showing someone that there’s a comfortable place for them in the FI social world"? I don't think it was Elliot. Elliot used the word "welcoming" but he didn't say anything about making people feel comfortable.

I see welcoming people as a way to tell them what they need to know so they can get benefit from FI. Or to instigate a discussion purposed for helping people decide whether or not they should stay. Like if the discussion reveals that the person doesn't want to learn philosophy and that FI is a place for people who want to learn philosophy, that revelation could help someone decide to leave or help someone engage with FI better (than compared to not having been welcomed).

Here's a welcoming statement I'm imagining:

Hello [person's name]. FI is a place for people who are interested in philosophy. What brought you to FI?

I don't see any social dynamics happening here. I don't think I'm manipulating people's emotions (trying to get them to feel comfortable in FI). I think my question asking them why they came to FI is something that is not designed to make people feel comfortable. I chose it regardless of how it might make people feel. I chose it because I think it helps us converge on the truth (which may be that he should leave). 

Btw, if someone is bad for FI, I don't think they should feel comfortable at FI. We shouldn't want them to feel comfortable. We should want them to feel uncomfortable, and for them to leave.