> Sue: Does anyone understand why most people are like this? I have such good will but it never seems to be enough. On my initiative, I asked about his plans, thinking perhaps to help with them. My reward was that he derailed the conversation. And as usual he doesn’t want to discuss what went wrong. He did begin the process of clearing up misunderstandings, but he was creating new misunderstandings faster than we could resolve stuff. Why won’t people just calm down and use English in a simple, correct way? Why do they rush through conversations and make huge messes and then give up?
They feel pressured to act as if they know already, otherwise they are low status. So they talk fast. They try to match your speed. If they go slower than you, that lowers their status.
So they’re overreaching. They make claims that they know something when they don’t. They ignore doubts they have, acting as if they don't exist.
Joe doesn't consider if he currently has the knowledge to be able to solve the problem in one session (give a competent reply to Sue's latest reply). Joe doesn't consider if the problem deserves to be broken up into a series of smaller problems, each solved in its own session. If Joe broke up the problem into a series of smaller problems and asked Sue for feedback after the first session (a reply visible to Sue), then Joe could get useful pointers/corrections to help him move forward. But Joe doesn't want feedback from Sue about these things. Joe feels pressured to already know such things and to never ask people for help in understanding such things.
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