Thursday, August 27, 2015

Strange passivity in the tv series Parenthood s2 episode “The Booth Job" @37:00

The father and mother of a boy are thinking about being married to each other. It’s happening during a romantic moment where they are already wearing wedding rings. They were using the rings to fake that they were married, so that they could have a better chance of getting into a school for their boy.

They each knew that the other was thinking about being married to each other.

He almost proposes. But then he didn’t.

And as soon as he backed out, she immediately reciprocated. She gave the signal that she’s out too.

So, he had an objection. But he kept it to himself. He could have discussed it with her. They could have learned that the objection was a mistake and he could have gracefully and happily gotten past it.

Also *she* could have asked him, "what’s holding you back?” And if he evaded, she could have persisted by asking various questions until he exposes the issue. Or until she decides that he’s not worth it.

What are they afraid of? What’s the worst that could happen?

So, one approach to conflict is to resolve it by critical discussion between all the people involved in the conflict. This is graceful. Peaceful. Happy. Learn how at the Fallible Ideas website and the Fallible Ideas discussion group.

The other approach is to try to avoid conflict as much as possible. This means that each person is dealing with his own problems and not getting any help from other people involved in the conflict. So when those times come where you’re forced to deal with the conflict, then you grit your teeth and push through the fighting. This can be very emotional. Very rocky. Very unpleasant. Very hurtful.

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