The field of psychology is about thinking errors and the resulting psychological problems, at least that’s the view from a philosophical perspective. Within the field of psychology, these problems are known as cognitive biases and there is something they call cognitive dissonance. Among laypeople, the psychological problems they notice are negative emotions.
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Make guesses about what the thinking error might be and criticize the guesses, and criticize the criticisms. The guesses left uncriticized are considered the truth, for now, until you come up with another criticism, and the cycle continues.
To
illustrate how people can correct their thinking errors, I'll explain two
psychological problems.
The first
example is a situation where someone gets offended by a racial remark. But the
racial remark is not about himself. It’s about someone that they care about. So
they are offended *for* someone else. The situation involves a stranger making
a racial remark about a guy’s friend. The guy gets offended. He’s mad. He thinks,
“how could that person say such a thing? What an asshole!” Well the simple answer
is that that person *thinks* that way. So the guy goes to his friend and tells
him the story expecting him to get offended. But, to his surprise, he's not
offended at all. The friend notices his surprise and decided to provide an
explanation as to why it doesn't make sense to get offended -- his goal was to help his friend solve his psychological problem. Note that I’m not talking
about whether or not the guy has the *right* to get offended. Of course he has
the right to have his emotions and think the way he wants to. The point is
whether or not he *should* get offended.
Friend: How many strangers out there
are racists?
Guy: I don’t know, half?
Friend: Ok so that means that 1 out of
2 strangers you meet are thinking racist thoughts, but almost none of them say
those thoughts to you.
Guy: Right.
Friend: Now getting back to the
original situation, were you offended that he said the racist remark, or that
he thought it?
Guy: That he said it. Why aren’t you
offended?
Friend: Well the very first time
someone made a racist remark towards me, I was offended. But since then I
learned that most people are that way and why they are that way, so I’m not
emotional about it anymore. […] So back to what we were saying… Why aren't you
offended that he was *thinking* it? Whats the difference? If you're going to
get offended that he said it, you should be offended that he thought it.
Guy: Well ya.
Friend: And so if you're offended that
people think this way, then are you going to go around to every person and say,
"HEY, ARE YOU A RACIST? CAUSE IF YOU ARE, THATS OFFENSIVE TO MY FRIEND… Oh
you’re not a racist? Oh never mind then I’m not offended.”
Guy: LOL!
Friend: And he could be lying to you.
So he could be a racist, but you’re not offended because he lied and said he
isn’t a racist.
Guy: Ya..
Friend: Now consider this. Why is that
person racist? How did he learn it?
Guy: From his parents.
Friend: From society as a whole, which
includes his parents. And he hasn't yet figured out that he's wrong. So he made
a mistake and he hasn't corrected it. And he may die a racist.
Guy: Right.
Friend: But don't we all make mistakes?
Guy: Ya.
Friend: Do you think people should get
mad at us for making mistakes?
Guy: Well depends on the kind of mistake.
Friend: Why should it depend on that?
Guy: Well what if it’s a really bad
mistake?
Friend: Bad how?
Guy: Like say if someone kills another
person.
Friend: You're talking about a crime.
Thinking or saying a racist remark is not a crime. Can you give an example that
isn't a crime?
Guy: What if someone called me stupid?
Friend: So. Why does that upset you?
Guy: Don't you get upset by that?
Friend: No. I've been called stupid
many times. Sometimes people say it when they disagree with me, meaning that they
think my idea is wrong, because it conflicts with their worldview. And they don't
have a criticism of my idea, so they attack the source of the idea because they
don't know a better way. So he made a thinking mistake, which is to criticize the
source of an idea rather than the content of the idea. I expect that he learned
it from his parents, and from society. Should I be mad that he has this
mistaken idea about how to think?
Guy: I guess not. It’s not his fault.
Friend: No. It is his fault, *his*
mistake. He should take responsibility for correcting his mistakes. But in this
case, he doesn’t even know he’s mistaken. But that doesn't change whether or
not I should be offended. The point is this, what problem does getting offended
solve?
Guy: What?
Friend: What are you getting out of
getting offended?
Guy: Uh.. nothing but he shouldn’t…
(stops to think)
Friend: Sure there are a lot of things
that he could do wrong, and a lot of people do those things. Are you saying you
want to correct him… help him think better?
Guy: Ok let’s say I did.
Friend: Do you think getting offended
will help you do that? Your mind will be clouded so it’ll be harder for you to
come up with good explanations. And your emotional reaction might antagonize
him so he might respond with emotion too. So getting emotional won’t solve your
problem of helping him correct his thinking. Its counter-productive.
Guy: Ya that’s true.
It’s
important to consider how this new understanding will help this person going
forward. Psychological problems can be solved. Actually whole classes of
psychological problems can be solved. So consider that one class of psychological
problems is that someone *gets offended by racist remarks*. He could learn all
the thinking errors that cause this and then never get offended by racist
remarks again, thus solving that problem and never again being affected by it.
Now consider
a broader class of psychological problems, which is *getting emotional about people
making mistakes*. Someone can learn all the thinking errors that cause this and
then never again get emotional about someone making a mistake, including
himself.
The second
example is a major psychological problem, major in that it causes other problems
in one’s life. Two guys were in a car
and a song came on the radio. One guy had a reaction to the song, or least his
friend guessed that the song was the cause:
Friend: What are you thinking about?
Guy: Nothing.
Friend: The song reminded you of something.
Guy: Uh.. Ya my friend, he killed
himself.
Friend: How long ago?
Guy: When I was 15. (he’s in his late
30’s at this point)
Friend: Something bad must have happened.
Guy: Well ya he killed himself.
Friend: Sure but being affected by that
for 20 years means there is more to it -- you are conflicted about something.
Guy: Well it’s not really a problem. The
anxiety doesn’t last long. I’m pretty good at forgetting about it now.
Friend: So you’re burying your problem...
slipping it under the rug. But that doesn’t solve your problem. It will
resurface.
Guy: (while laughing) Ya that’s been
happening for 20 years now.
Friend: So when it first happened, I
bet it took days for you to recover each time you had anxiety about it.
Guy: Ya.
Friend: And now it takes a lot less
time to recover. How long?
Guy: A few minutes, sometimes faster.
Friend: So you’ve created a habit of
burying the problem, and you get faster at burying it each time.
Guy: Ya!
Friend: If you figure out what the
problem is, then you can solve it and prevent the anxiety altogether.
Guy: What do you mean? I already know
what caused it.
Friend: Well when you experienced the
trauma, it’s not his suicide that was the trauma. It’s your interpretation of
that event that was the trauma. You had a thought that causes the anxiety. And
each time you get anxiety you are rethinking that thought. What is that
thought?
Guy: Well what happened was that my
friend called me and left a voicemail asking to call him back. But I didn’t
reply quickly enough. Then I found out that he committed suicide the next day.
Friend: You said “quickly enough”. So
you blame yourself for not calling him back?
Guy: Yes.
Friend: And if you had called him back,
would that have prevented him from committing suicide?
Guy: Maybe.
Friend: Maybe means also maybe not.
Right?
Guy: Ya.
Friend: Could you have known in advance
that he would commit suicide?
Guy: No.
Friend: So you’re blaming yourself for
something that you couldn’t have known in advance. Isn’t that just like saying
“hind-sight 20-20… yadda yadda yadda”?
Guy: You’re right, it’s not my fault
for not knowing.
Friend: And even if you did know, and
even if you called him, he may still have committed suicide. I expect that he
had major psychological problems. He could have been hopped up on psychiatric medicine that made things worse instead of better. Since you don't know about what he's taking, how could you help him with something like that?
Guy: You're right. There’s no way I
could have prevented his suicide.
Friend: And even if you were his
brother and spoke to him everyday, you could make a mistake and not realize
that he was in the condition he was in because well you've never dealt with
that stuff. You don't know what to look for. You aren't in his mind to know
what he’s thinking.
Guy: Ya.
Friend: Everyone makes mistakes. Should
we all blame ourselves for all our mistakes?
Guy: Well no, but when something bad
happens…
Friend: But you can't know in advance
if something bad is going to happen so how can you blame yourself? We all make
mistakes. And sure some of those mistakes cause major bad shit. But so what?
That’s life. You can't prevent all mistakes. It’s impossible to prevent all mistakes, so why blame
yourself for something that is impossible to do?
Guy: You’re right.
(a few months went by)
Guy: I've been meaning to talk to you.
I don’t have anxiety anymore about my friend that committed suicide. I can
listen to that song again and nothing happens. You know that song was one that
all my friends and I listened to and when I’d be in a car with them, the song
would come on and my anxiety would start. It was rough because my friends would
put that song on a lot and I couldn't enjoy it with them. And now I can enjoy
it again.
So here the
psychological problem was about blaming himself for something he couldn’t
possibly be responsible for. In psychology they give this a fancy name, “personalization”;
it’s one of the so-called cognitive biases. Anyway, he solved that problem.
Note that this thinking error can have more reach like in the first example. If
he solves all the thinking errors related to incorrectly assigning
responsibility, then he’ll have solved this whole class of psychological
problems (“personalization”). Now I’m not suggesting that this is easy. The
idea of responsibility is not so straight forward. It requires a lot of knowledge
to understand it well.
Getting back
to the field of psychology, there is new research being done about what psychologists call cognitive dissonance. The theory explains that when people are presented with a conflict of ideas between a new idea and their worldview, they experience a bad feeling, and so they (subconsciously) attempt to relieve that bad feeling by rejecting the new idea, thus resolving the conflict. Sometimes that rejection comes in the form of rationalizing (which means writing off an idea uncritically).
The implication is that *all* people experience this bad feeling, meaning that it is part of human nature. But that is false. It’s a parochial mistake to generalize to the entire human population. Not all people have this bad feeling when they have a conflict of ideas. So this raises the question: What is the difference between people that do and people that don’t feel bad when they experience a conflict of ideas between a new idea and their worldview?
To answer that question, consider that cognitive dissonance is fundamentally no different than any other psychological problem. It’s about thinking errors. And how are they solved? In the case of cognitive dissonance, the error is related to how one thinks about mistakes and exposing one’s mistakes. The people that experience cognitive dissonance think that mistakes are bad and shameful -- and the people that don’t experience it don’t think that way.
The reality is that exposing one’s mistakes is good. These are opportunities to correct one’s mistaken ideas. And by correcting one’s mistaken ideas, he gets smarter, becomes a better person, a better worker, a better parent. A person who knows this feels great about finding his mistakes, whether he found it or someone else did. So he doesn't subconsciously try to reject new ideas that conflict with his worldview.
The implication is that *all* people experience this bad feeling, meaning that it is part of human nature. But that is false. It’s a parochial mistake to generalize to the entire human population. Not all people have this bad feeling when they have a conflict of ideas. So this raises the question: What is the difference between people that do and people that don’t feel bad when they experience a conflict of ideas between a new idea and their worldview?
To answer that question, consider that cognitive dissonance is fundamentally no different than any other psychological problem. It’s about thinking errors. And how are they solved? In the case of cognitive dissonance, the error is related to how one thinks about mistakes and exposing one’s mistakes. The people that experience cognitive dissonance think that mistakes are bad and shameful -- and the people that don’t experience it don’t think that way.
The reality is that exposing one’s mistakes is good. These are opportunities to correct one’s mistaken ideas. And by correcting one’s mistaken ideas, he gets smarter, becomes a better person, a better worker, a better parent. A person who knows this feels great about finding his mistakes, whether he found it or someone else did. So he doesn't subconsciously try to reject new ideas that conflict with his worldview.
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Other topics related to psychology:
- Love at first sight
- Why the gender gap on physics assessments?
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Excellent! Thanks.
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