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Monday, September 14, 2020

Psych techniques for love

In this video a girl talks about psychology techniques for love. (She does other videos on psych techniques other than for love.) Here's some notes:
  • complement people you like. e.g. "hey I really like how you wear your hair down like that. it looks really good." (this gets them to like you back)
    • hmm. I don't notice people's hair. often times I'll see someone I know and be like, "you've changed something but I don't know what." and I'll find out (from them) that the thing they did is change their hair color or style. 
    • I also don't notice clothing.
    • I do notice things people do with their eyes. 
      • where they look (at my eyes, somewhere else on me, or not at me at all). 
      • when they look away (at what points in the discussion). 
        • these are loose indicators of their thinking
          • e.g. I often look away and not say anything in reply to someone cuz I'm thinking about what they said and thinking to form a reply.
    • the thing where people like you back just because you did something that showed that you like them first is weird as fuck. like why should I like someone just cuz they like me? that's stupid as hell. I don't want to be controlled like that.
  • make eye contact and smile (to the person you like, have a crush on) (this gets them to like you back)
    • eye contact without smiling (or any facial expression at all) is weird to people. I've noticed this. I've noticed that if I had a tiny smile then they don't feel weird. 
  • ask them questions so they can talk about themselves (cuz, she says, everybody likes talking about themselves)
Then she gives tips on how to tell if someone likes you.
  • they'll copy your mannerisms. like if you fold your arms they'll fold their arms.
    • this is not a fool proof tip though. conmen (including lots of sales people) do this as a way to trick people.
    • I wonder if PUA talks about the idea of copying someone's mannerisms. anybody know?
  • they'll look at you a lot.
  • they'll laugh at everything you say.
    • a lot of those laughs are things people do cuz they feel uncomfortable and laughing is their way to feel more comfortable.
  • they'll try to be around you a lot.
  • open body language (e.g. feet facing you)
    • that's fucking weird
    • in Arab culture (maybe just Syria, dunno), if you're sitting and have your leg propped up on your other leg, and if your foot is facing a person, that's seen as disrespectful. I think it has to do with the bottom of the foot being dirty and facing your foot to someone is like saying "you're dirty" or something like that. also in Islam, the idea of facing your foot to god is seen as bad. I think these things are related.
she admits that all of this is manipulation. 

she says that people think a person is attractive if other people think that person is attractive. 

the last thing she says in the video is to be yourself instead of trying to be someone else. that's weird given that earlier in the video she advocated doing things like acting one way (not obsessed with someone) even though it's feel another way (you're obsessed with that person). 

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