Disclaimer: Following are my unorganized thoughts on a family situation. I expect there to be conceptual mistakes in my ideas that passed my filters but wouldn't pass the filters of smarter people.
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Jane is a young adult child of divorced parents. She doesn't like her interactions with one of her parents and her extended family. That parent and extended family doesn't let her do things by herself. She's not allowed to be home alone. She's not allowed to drive to somewhere to go out to eat. And she feels obligated to continue as is.
It's like being in a prison where all the doors are unlocked. There are guards who tell you to stay in your cell, but they have no physical power over you. They don't have guns or any other weapons. They are not big men who know how to fight. The only thing they have is words. So if you don't like being in the prison, and you don't like how you're being treated by the guards, why don't you leave? What's keeping you there?
Are you worried that the guards will gossip about you? If so, so what? Why do you care if they gossip about you? What do you think you would lose if they do? Do you think you'll lose your job? Will you lose relationships with people that you want to keep? Or are you just worried that you'll feel bad despite there not being an actual thing that you're worried about losing? If so, then what that means is that you feel bad about the possibility of leaving the prison for fear that you'll feel bad in the future, despite having no reason to feel bad in the future.
Imagine that in your job your supervisor and other coworkers treat you in ways you don't like. What should you do? Just settle? You could try to explain that you don't like how they treat you and request that they treat you another way, something specific, something you prefer. What if they refuse to participate in such a discussion? Ok, so why not switch departments or get a different job so that you don't have the same supervisor and coworkers? If nothing is stopping you except your feelings, then reconsider your feelings. Work to change your feelings so that they are compatible with reality.
A common response to this is that it's hard to change one's feelings. So what? I know that. I did not claim that it's not hard. But you can make it easier. You can learn how to change your feelings. This is part of philosophy. Improve your philosophy so that you can have control over your feelings. If you don't improve your philosophy, then you're letting your feelings control you.
To be clear, when I say "control your feelings", I don't mean what is commonly thought of by that phrase. The common view is that one ignores their feelings, favoring their intellectual side. This is bad. Your feelings are part of you, and you shouldn't ignore any part of you. That would be disrespectful to yourself. What's needed is for you to integrate your mind such that your intellectual side and your emotional side evolve towards each other such that they become compatible.
What philosophy helps one learn how to integrate their mind? I recommend Fallible Ideas.
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